A few weeks before the trip, the idea popped into my head to get a limo for a night out unbeknownst to Kanuck.  I shopped around and settled on Presidential Limo.  Their prices are reasonable and they come highly recommended in cyber-land.  I easily found their website at http://www.presidentiallimolv.com/ and booked us a stretch limo for a couple of hours.  The rate came down to $55 an hour, but we split this 3 ways..  With a fairly generious driver tip, it only came out to about $45 per person.  Not too bad, especially if you’re going to be hitting several venues.  If you have a group of 6 or 7, this is the way to go!  On top of all that, each ride comes with a bottle of champagne, plenty of bottled water, and roses for all the ladies in the party.  You’re also welcomed to bring along beer or other libations as you see fit. 

Kanuck knew not of the limo, simply that we were going out and to be down in front of the Hilton at 6pm.  Lady Kanuck did a good job selling him on this and that we’d simply roll up in a cab to pick them up.  Not this time!  Frankly, the surprise plan was executed flawlessly by all involved.  Good thing Matthew Broderick wasn’t with us, he would’ve blown it for sure.  Idiot. 

Our driver, Kyle (I think), picked Don, Lori, Steff, and myself up promptly at Harrah’s and we headed over to the Hilton to get the Kanucks.  We pulled up as they were sitting on a bench out front and rolled right within 5 feet of them thanks to the lack of a sidewalk.  I opened the door and the evening of fun began.  You should’ve seen the look on that green-blazered birthday boy’s face. 

We popped the champagne and kicked things off right.  I should also note that the limo comfortably seated us 6, but you could easily fit 8 in there as well.  It also had nice long-stemmed champagne glasses, a tub of ice, and a good-sized TV complete with DVD player.  

At this point, Kanuckwaspresented with a choice for pre-dinner beverages.  All that was told to him was that he had to pick between “the sky”, “the dive”, and “the international”.  I had 3 places in mind, none of which I had ever been to, but all of which I’ve heard great things about.  “The sky” represented Voodoo Lounge on the roof of The Rio, “the dive” was the Double Down Saloon off-strip near Hard Rock, and “the international” was the Russian-themed vodka bar Red Square in Mandalay Bay.  Kanuck pondered for just a second and went with “the dive”!  This pleased me immensely.  I have seen the Double Down Saloon on two separate TV shows so I was jonesin’ to check it out.  I rolled down the partition and told Carl the driver (or was it Dale?), “to the Double Down Saloon good sir” and off we went. 

This place was fantastic and the complete contradiction of glitzy Vegas stereotype.  The Double Down was literally a dark, dingy, smokey punk rock bar.  Graffiti littered all 4 walls, the juke box was full of nothing but the likes of Black Flag, The Queers, and The Sex Pistols, and there we were dressed to the nines and rolling up in a limo.  The juxtaposition of the whole situation amused me greatly. 

We spent a good hour here boozin’ it up.  The place was practically empty (it was roughly 6:30pm) so we had free range.  I had a very well-crafted vodka & tonic followed by a beer.  Kanuck was in for a treat though.  From the aforementioned TV shows that I had seen about the joint, I knew that their specialty was a bacon martini.  So of course we made Kanuck have one.  The bartended poured it and he took an apprehensive sip.  What followed was a pleasantly suprised expression followed by another sip.  I tried it and it indeed was not bad and truly did have a distinct bacon flavor to it.  We asked the bartender how they make it and he pulled out a large vodka bottle with 3 giant strips of raw bacon soaking in it.  Sounds revolting, but don’t knock it ’til ya try it! 

The other house specialty is a little drink by the name of Ass Juice!  A homemade shot concoction consisting of God knows what, I downed one before leaving and it was on-point as well.  I then grabbed Kanuck and I two road-beers, called Rick the driver to let him know we were heading out, and off we went to our next stop. 

Now to the dinner portion of the evening.  Of course, with Kanuck being a true man’s man, a good steakhouse was certainly in order for this celebratory night.  As I’m sure you know, any highly-rated steakhouse on The Strip will certainly be pricey.  But I had heard tales of a great, vintage-style Vegas steakhouse downtown that wouldn’t cost one an arm and a leg and this was the one we settled on.  I’m talking, of course, of Hugo’s Cellar at The Four Queens.  Jason the driver pulled up and we parted ways for the evening.  Ted was a great driver and Presidential was a wonderful limo service.  Highly recommended. 

None of us had ever been to Hugo’s Cellar but, again, the online reviews were impeccable.  And let me tell you…the online reviews are 100% accurate.  This place rocked.  Down below ground level, Hugo’s does indeed have that old Vegas charm and was apparently a Rat Pack hangout in its day.  Dark mahogany tables, plush red booths, waiters in full tuxes, this place was straight out of 1958 and that much better for it.  

The food was outstanding.  Firstly, this is unlike most Strip steakhouses in that you get a full meal with your cut of meat…not that a la carte crap where you pay $45 for a steak PLUS extra for sides, salads, and desserts.  I picked out a nice ribeye with a bleucheese crust with a shrimp scampi add-on for about $36 and the others made their choices as well.  First up was the salad.  However my friends, this was no normal salad.  Our waiter brought a cart up to our table and he each made us our own individual salad customized to our liking.  The ingredients were choice and this was frankly one of the best salads I’ve ever had.  The main reason…the bleu cheese.  My. God.  I never knew bleu cheese could be so good.  It nearly reduced me to tears and a fetal-like position.  That might have been the alcohol though.  

Next up came my huge ribeye complete with more of this bleucheese goodness on top.  It was top-shelf as well.  The shrimp were also huge and absolutely fantastic.  The mashed potatoes and asparagus capped a picture-perfect meal at a very reasonable price.  After the main course, out came a big platter of chocolate dipped strawberries and apricots with fresh homemade whipped cream for dipping purposes.  Again…brilliant. 

Highly engorged and satiated, we headed back to Harrah’s for a little gaming action and called it a night.  

Parting Thoughts:

- A limo is definitely a great idea for a group of people to split the cost between.  It’s affordable, safe, and luxurious.  Why not?

- Kanuck is a true wardrobe maverick

- The Double Down Saloon is badass

- Hugo’s Cellar might very well be a must on every future trip

- Everyone had a great time for Kanuck’s big 30th birthday evening

- Despite him telling me at least twice, I have no idea what the driver’s name was

While on our last trip to Vegas a few weeks ago I did something that I never thought I would do, I turned my back on “The Wheel of Fortune” just for a minute. Don and I had about 15 minutes to spare before playing in one of our poker tournaments and I decided I wanted to play the slots for a bit.  If you have been to Harrah’s before you know that the $1 “Wheel of Fortune” can be found on the back wall by the poker room. As Don and I headed towards the wheel I decide I wanted to try a new slot.  I told Don I wanted to try a new slot and ask him to find me one with good odds. Of course he looked at me puzzled; I think he was more shocked than anything, but after a few moments he did find me a machine. It was $1 Red, White, and Blue machine with a 10x multiplier, so I sat down with $100.  After the first $50 I starting wondering if this was a good idea, it was kind of boring because there was no wheel bonus spin to look forward to spinning. I continued to play through the last $50. I get down to my last few spins and I hit a ridiculous 10x payout. It was craziness, I had already written that hundo off as a lost cause, but instead I ended up winning $400.  I do have to admit that “Wheel of Fortune” is still my favorite; I mean nothing beats the bonus “Spin”.  However trying a new machine every once in a while is fun and can pay off.  The payout from the slot was just the beginning of me pimping Harrah’s that day.  Read about that poker tournament and you will see what I am talking about.

Nevertheless, we are all playing blackjack at one of the handicap tables that are always sprinkled throughout a casino on a few blackjack pits.  You can recognize them because they are always low (like the old school sit down table top video games) and there is always a seat missing for someone in a wheel chair to roll up in.  Cool.

Our dealer had to be, no lie, 80+.  He was funny, but kind of crotchety.  Like, “I have survived WWII for this shit?” kind of crotchety.  It was glorious.  We laughed at him and each other while we were playing and 44even tried to get a picture on his first generation camera phone, FAIL.  However we were happy just playing and killing time.  This was mainly due to the fact that our dealer was slow.  I mean like mind numbingly slow.  But that was cool because we are all having a good time and he was telling jokes and just generally being old and ornery.

Now contrast this with the experience that Lori and I just had at Caesars. Lori was playing in the main pit off of the entrance (which has some of the best players odds in all of Vegas) and I was watching her and the roulette table next to her.  There were some crazy drunk people who claimed to have a “system” for roulette.  Of course it didn’t work, but I digress.

So Paul (the dealer) is a young man by comparison.  Seemingly in control of all of his motor skills, married, and even had a friend meet up with him during his break.  What he didn’t have was any semblance of speed by which to deal the damn game.  He was so deliberately slow that several players left out of disgust.  It was just so choppy and purposefully slow that it made it hard to even enjoy the “action”.  Now from a player rating standpoint this is a good thing because you are rated on the length of time you play versus your avg. bet size.  However there comes a point where it’s just too slow.  This was that point.

Eventually Lori made a little money and we had to bounce.  Paul was killing the Mojo, and we just had to find a new spot to start punishing Vegas.  That spot as it turned out, was Harrah’s. Thanks Paul for umm, nothing.

As we walk off the plane and go to the baggage claim area I noticed something strange.  Where the Prickly Pear once stood there is now a California Pizza Kitchen.  The PP was basically a crappy airport bar with some food options.  We have had to have many a meal there and well let’s just say that it was never a memorable experience.  I guess people finally got fed up with the crappy food and slow service.  Ahh the memories.

We get our bags and head to what will most certainly be a long snaking cab line.  Typically this is about an hour wait and then you can get to your hotel.  Friday late night is by far the busiest time of the week to fly in.  So imagine our surprise when we get outside and there is no line.  In fact there are only about 10 people waiting in total.  We look at each other in disbelief.  I wonder what this says about the city.  We will see.

We get to Harrah’s and check into one of their newly remodeled rooms in the Mardi Gras Tower.  Here are some pros and cons:

Pros

-The room has a good layout in that there is a new built in wall unit that saves a bunch of space.  This is huge in that the room is small but spacious enough for two.

-There are two flat screen TV’s and a great new bed.  It could be that I was dead ass tired, but I slept like a baby.

-The bathroom is all new, with granite counter tops and a shower with great water pressure.

-The AC sensor has been moved so you basically have comfort throughout the night, unless you sleep like a corpse and never move.

Cons

-There are no HD channels.  Why have flat screens with no HD channels?  Of course the analog channels look weird, but hey it’s cool.

-The toilet flushes forcefully, but doesn’t actually go flush fully.  Good to know.

-The view is of the pool and not the strip.  I really don’t care about that, but some might.

So that’s the skinny for now.  More later as we try and get our act together and get there.

So myself and Kanuck recently took a quick two-nighter out to the motherland.  Vegas calls my  name hardcore about every 4-5 months these days and the only way to quiet the nagging voice in my  head is to just bite the bullet and go.  I’ve been going 2-3 times a year since mid 2005, so plenty of trips over the past 3 years.

This was a landmark trip for me in that it was my first one where I had gotten completely comped at Harrah’s.  Fun factoid: comped rooms don’t even include tax and other service fees therefore making them completely free.  Most people don’t realize this.  See, I’m already saving you money.

As I try to do with every trip, I make a point to do/try new things that I haven’t done on previous trips.  This is sometimes hard for me as I’m a creature of habit and like to stick to the places I love to hang out in during time in Vegas.  With this just being a 2 night trip, I had to maximize my time!

Kanuck had a last minute work change with his schedule so he did not arrive in town until about 4 hours after me so I had plenty of alone-time to start doing my thing.  I don’t mind spending a day alone in Vegas by the way.  Try it sometime; it’s empowering to know you can do exactly what you want to do with zero people to worry about satisfying or anything like that. 

So, I landed, caught a cab to Harrah’s (traffic is getting worse and worse in Vegas btw), checked in, threw my crap down in the room, and headed out.  I first visited the sports book and laid down a few baseball parlays for me and a friend and then highballed it to Bellagio.  Now, I only went to Bellagio for one reason only….the drinks!

Let me preface this next section by pointing out the fact that I am indeed a straight male.  However, ON OCCASION, I enjoy a fruity alcohol-filled beverage.  Fine beers will always be #1 in this Polish heart of mine, but hey…I’m a man of variety.  Through time spent on the message boards at openvegas.com, I’ve learned that many find the drinks at Wynn and Bellagio to be the best in town.  So I went over there for a little slot action for the main reason being to enjoy these drinks for free as I played. 

I first tried the infamous Bellagio cocktail.  I’ve heard many good things.  It was…….ok.  I imagine it’s a big hit with the ladies but it was simply too weak for me.  It’s apparently sparkling white wine with passion fruit puree mixed in it.  Not bad, but not great…very sweet.  However, I then moved on to the strawberry daiquiri and was simply the best I’ve ever had.  Made with real strawberries and a decent amount of alcohol, this hit the spot.  I highly recommend it. 

I also had aimed to try the pineapple mojitos at Wynn but did not get a chance to.  They’re apparently exquisite as well.

I then moved on to Flamingo for a little more slot action and to check the table limits.  Most limits were $10 so I decided to play a random slot and, wouldn’t  ya know it, I hit $300 on a single spin!!  My credits kept going up and up, people were stopping and looking, it was great.  There’s rarely a more uniquely thrilling moment when you hit something on a slot that you don’t know exactly how much you got and it keeps counting up…and up…and up.  By the time it got to 1200 credits, I was flying high!  What a start to the trip!

From here, I went to Casino Royale and had a strong craps session and then went to finally meet up with Kanuck at Harrah’s.  We mostly stayed near Harrah’s, had another decent craps session at Royale where I showed Phil the craps ropes, then back to Harrah’s where we both hit a bad streak of luck on blackjack.  Basic strategy by no means equals winning kids, let that be a lesson.

Day #2 centered around us getting over our respective hangovers and then heading to my favorite Vegas dive…Ellis Island.  EI is a tiny casino off-strip (behind Bally’s/Paris) that has the best cheap food in town.  They also brew their own beer on site and it’s of course free if you’re playing but only $1 a pint if you’re not.  Can’t beat that with a rubber snake.

But, the food…ahhhh the food.  Perhaps the single best BBQ value in the entire world is in this little hole in the wall joint.  I’m talkin’ a half rack of ribs, a half BBQ chicken, two ears of corn, baked beans, slaw, and garlic bread.  The portions are huge and it’s truly mind-blowing the first time you see the plate.  On top of that, it’s actually really good!  AND….$9.  An amazing deal, it could also be easily split by two lighter eaters.  You can also find an easily obtainable buy 1-get 1 entrée at Ellis Island coupons in the American Casino Guide book which essentially brings the meal down to $4.50 each for 2 ppl dining.  They also have a $7 top sirloin steak dinner with 2 sides and a beer.  Another outstanding meal to check out.  Go to Ellis Island, you won’t be disappointed.  Don’t expect much on ambiance though.  Oh yeah, they also have $5 BJ.

After this, we went to check out the comedian Vinnie Favorito at Flamingo.  Very funny, I highly recommend it.  He basically is a hardcore Italian dude who cracks on the audience for an hour.  Sounds simple, but it was hilarious.  Again, you can also find a buy 1-get 1 ticket coupon for this to make it very inexpensive.

After this, I played some more and headed to bed.  Overall, a great yet quick trip.  Funny though, I had unusually bad luck at table games but unusually great luck on the slots.  It’s typically the complete opposite.  For the trip, I did not come home ahead and but came home with over half of my budget still intact.  And that, my friends, is considered a winning trip in my book!

Playing in the ladies tournament is certainly different then playing in a regular tournament.  The atmosphere is different, the play is different, heck even the table chatter is different.  In this year’s tournament I started off at a table with Clonie, who is a very friendly professional poker player, and 8 other mom’s.  The table chatter was way too friendly for a poker table.  The ladies were pulling pictures of their children out of their purses and sharing with the table.  They were passing their phones around the table showing off their children (which is illegal in tournament play).  It was just strange.  I would much rather sit there with my head phones on and concentrate on the game at hand, but that is just me.

Plus the tournament itself is poorly structured.  You pay $1000 to enter the tournament and only get 2k in chips to play with.  Yes, the blind levels are longer then normal but it still doesn’t give you much ability to make moves.  Even if you try and make a move it doesn’t mean you will be rewarded.  There is far less aggressive play so trapping is hard to do.  Ladies just will not throw away Jack’s or better no matter what the board or preflop action says. 

In fact, my last hand I had KK and she had JJ and even with an A on the board and my aggressive betting after the flop, she would not let go of her JJ and called my all in.  The river brought a J and I was out.  As I am leaving she is apologizing to me saying, “I never throw away a painted pair”.  I just smile and head for the door thinking to myself how in the world could she call me down?

With how people play, blind structure and the number of chips we start with all being crap, I have sworn off this tournament from here on out.  I would rather just play men who think that I can’t and will inevitably dump their chips to me.

I need a JWB and coke!!!

So the make up of players at your table is key in this tournament since there will not be any breaking down of tables and no one filling spots as people start getting busted out.  I am sitting in the 3rd seat with 1 and 2 empty to start the tournament.   No big deal as people are often late to start, but they normally show up in short order.

The 3rd hand in the game I get KK one under the gun and I have the guy in the 10 spot betting into me.  I flopped another K and now I am cooking. He bets out and I go back over the top of him and put the pressure on.  Well after some time he finally folds so that’s good.  I probably should have just let him hang himself, but it was so early I doubt he would have. 

Well I am raking in my chips and the guy in the 2nd seat shows up, it’s Umberto Brenes.  Oh great, the Shark is at my table and now it’s going to be that much more difficult.  Umberto is actually a great guy who is pretty genuine.  He played very solidly and didn’t really try anything on anyone, but you know he probably could have if he wanted to. 

Now we are two hours in and the 1st seat is still empty.  We have just been blinding it down when guess who finally arrives; Phil Hellmuth.  So now there are two world champions at our table and you have to beat both of them to advance.  Nice.

Phil is just as advertised.  Boisterous and loud, he is immediately mixing it up.  He notes to everyone that both he and Umberto are wearing the “old school” bracelets from their previous championships.  This is not news to anyone, but thanks Phil for pointing that out.

Well I am the big blind and I wake up with AA.  This is a dream as Phil is the button and I assume that he will try something.  Everyone folds to Phil and he just calls.  He is actually saying that he is trying to trap Umberto and gets him to call.  I of course raise, and Phil then says that he is raising it up by going all-in.  Umberto shows his cards to the other end of the table (which is something that anyone else would have incurred a penalty for, but it’s Umberto and everyone loves him) and folds, which leaves me to call Phil’s all-in.  I do it and flip over my Rockets.

Phil’s face was ghost white as he turns over JJ and when the turn brought the 3rd Ace he gets up and starts to shake everyone’s hand.  I thank him and told him I appreciated him showing up late.  He smiled and walk out after playing for about 20 mins.  Mint.

So now we are down to one World Champion left and it’s the last hand before the break.  I am the small blind and l look down and see KK.  Freaking Sweet.  Umberto raises on the button with the table behind him already folded and mostly gone for break.  Well I just call and the flop brings A-5-J and I feel good about it.  I don’t think that Umberto has an A and surely he is just making a move on me.  So I check and he bets.  I call and the turn is another 5.  I think blank, but I check just to see if he will fire another one.  He does and I call because I am not feeling great about my initial read, but I don’t want to release my hand.  The river comes a blank and I check again.  Umberto fires a 3rd shot that almost puts me all in.  I now am screwed.  Either my read was right at the start and I have the pot, or Umberto actually has an A and I am basically done.  I call and watch Umberto flip over A5 for a BOAT!  Haha.  Umberto milked me like a cow all the way down and I donked off basically all of my chips.  I come back from break and go all-in with a J10 and get bounced by Q9.  Anti-climatic for sure.

So here are two things that were a little crazy and only could happen in Vegas.

The first is a very pregnant cocktail waitress actually started having contractions in the poker room.  The Paramedics came out of no where and there was an alarm that went off throughout all of the Venetian.  It was pretty crazy.  What’s even more bizarre is that it happened about 30 ft. away from where Lori was playing and she had no clue.  How she missed this is beyond me, but then again its Vegas and crazy is the norm.

The second oddity was how the Venetian handled the whirlwind that was Paris Hilton.  She was “hosting” the night at Tao and everything was nuts.  They closed off the escalators that are next to the poker room that lead from the casino floor to the Shoppes above.  I didn’t know that they could do this, but for about 40 minutes we were cut off from the outside.  Strange. 

So I am playing a little Black Jack and basically getting my skull kicked in when this paparazzi storm cloud blew through the main casino floor and right by my table.  Thankfully I am not someone who is all about celebs per say, so I was happy that Lori had the camera as everyone was scrambling to take a picture.  It was quite a mess.  I have never seen that many security people in one place, but just like that it was over.  I have to say she looked older than when I have seen her in the media, but seriously what the hell do I know?  I just want that 11 double down versus a dealer 6 to actually pan out.  Unfortunately for yours truly I get a 4 for a 15 and the dealer turns a 5 to go with the 16 that he is showing and well you know the rest.

I need a drink.

So we mill around for a bit in the room until we go down for breakfast, which is always great because it is at the Grand Lux Café.  These are the same people who own the Cheesecake Factory, so you know the food is good and plentiful.

Now we head over to the Poker Room at the Venetian to start our Deep Stack Tourney.  What’s nice about this one is that they give you $15,000 in starting chips and 40 minute blinds so there is a lot of play for your money.

I am basically card dead for the first 3 hours with not much happening.  The blinds go up to $200/$400 with an ante and now things are moving.  I get involved with a short stack that flops a sneaky set.  When I get the King high flush and all of his chips are in I am more than pot committed at this point.  So seeing him turnover eights full, just makes my stomach turn.  I just look at my remaining $4,000 and think that my day is coming to an end.

Our table gets broken up and I sit down at a new one two from the big blind.  I fold a couple of times and get 55 in the big.  I call a minimum raise and now am in a 6 way pot.  Well I flop a nice little set of my own and I think that I might have life yet.  There are two diamonds on the board and the small blind looks down at his cards and then puts me all in with a sloppy throw of some chips.  Sure thing.  I am just hoping that my set holds up, but of course the small turns over 96 of diamonds and the river produces the 10 of diamonds; for the flush.

I am now out, but Lori is still soldiering on so hopefully she will make us proud!

More to come…

This is our third time staying at the Palazzo and I think that they have finally got the place to a near perfect finish. All of the little sundries shops are in and everything is straight. One of the things that I love about this casino/resort is that when you walk in the air is fresh. They have incredible air exchangers that must just work like mad because you never get that dingy, musty smell that you get in the older casinos. Very Choice.

We get our stuff up to the room and then we head back downstairs to the Venetian to register for the Deepstack tourney running tomorrow @ noon. I love this poker room and every tourney that they run is a good one so I am pretty pumped.

After that we jump into another cab and head over to the Rio to check in there. It’s not too crowded in Vegas tonight so we get there with no worries. We check in and head to this room in the Masquerade tower at the far end of the hotel. This is the least desirable place to be and to top it all off it’s a smoking room. We can’t really complain because they are way overbooked due to the WSOP, so getting any room is a bonus. Not to mention that our room is comped, and we are staying at the Palazzo for half of the trip and that room makes up for this one and then some.

We head back downstairs and go over to the conference wing where the WSOP is set up. This thing is massive, but since we have been here before it has a familiar feel to it.

We sidle up to two different registration windows and sign up for Lori’s ladies event on Sunday, and my NL Shoot-Out on Monday. There is not a soul around so this goes extremely fast; tomorrow it will be a mad house so it’s good that we dragged ourselves over here.

We are walking around and see an event winding down where there are only two tables left. I see Sammy Farha and point him out to Lori. She spots her favorite poker player, Jennifer Harman. Now Jennifer is not playing and is just standing over to the side on her own. I am prodding Lori to go over and ask for a picture. To know Lori is to know how chicken she is in these sorts of situation so of course there is no picture. We duck out the side and head back to the Palazzo.

I am beat down and have been up some 20 + hours today, Lori hits the 24 hour mark herself so we conk out looking to be fresh for tomorrow which should prove to very exciting.